Lanky Yankee Emo Philips – described by Jay Leno as “the best joke-writer in America”, by British comedian Gary Delaney as “the best joke-writer in the world” and by Weird Al Yankovic as one of the funniest people on the planet – is bringing the ‘idiot savant’ style of stand-up comedy that made him famous right here to the Comedy Club Cambodia.
For a taste of the comedic routine to come, look no further than Emo’s Facebook page, on which this veteran of more than 6,000 stand-up shows declares: “Welcome to my one & only Facebook page. How can you know it’s authentic? Because it’s linked to from my website, www.emophilips.com, which is linked to from here, which is linked to my from my website, which is linked to from here, which is…” (and so on and so forth).
Master of ‘the wisdom of children’ humour, Emo – who made his debut in Chicago in 1976 aged 20, at a time when there were but six comedy clubs in the entire US – is, to borrow from the Boston Globe, ‘admittedly a bit cuckoo, but he’s the king of that stand-up staple, the one-liner’. “I’m not sure exactly when or where I first heard one of Emo’s routines, but once I did I instantly became a fan,” Weird Al Yankovic once told Chicago Magazine. “Emo had the iconic look of somebody who could have been a major star in the era of silent films. His body language was indescribably weird and his material was flat-out brilliant.” And if you were asked at gunpoint to say who’s the funniest guy in the world, Mr Yankovic? “Without question I would have to say Emo Philips, especially if Emo happened to be the one holding the gun.”
Why so funny, you ask? Here’s another shining example: in 1990, approached by Time Out magazine in London for an interview, Emo, rather than leave anything to the gods of journalistic chance, agreed to be interviewed on its hallowed pages… by himself (coincidentally enabling him to pocket the writer’s fee). The results were nothing short of priceless, as this Emo-to-Emo exchange from the article entitled Me, Myself And I demonstrates:
Emo: How old are you?
Emo: 34.
I could see right away his joust of wit would not be for the faint-hearted.
Emo: How tall are you?
Emo: Six feet two.
Emo: How much do you weigh?
Emo: 145 pounds, naked. That is, if that scale outside the drugstore is anything to go by.
This last answer caught me totally off-guard. Laughter – a sweet, helpless laughter – welled up inside me, uncertain at first, and then increasing logarithmically, like the passion within the breasts of a tender young virgin chained to a post in the Coliseum as the baboon trainer approaches her with his lascivious charges.
So, Emo, is this to be that sort of interview? A silly, nonsensical, no-holds-barred affair, comic-take-all? Oh, you monster! You delightfully naughty monster! Well then, so be it! Make me your little whipping boy and toss caution to the breeze!
Emo: Emo, you are very talented.
Emo: Well, that’s not for me to say.
Emo: Darn you, Emo, modesty will get you nowhere! You must learn to blow your own horn in this world! Very well, if you refuse to praise yourself, then I will. I’ll shout it out from the highest mountaintop: Emo is talented! Emo is…
Emo: Please stop. You’re embarrassing me!
Emo: But you just have to learn how good you are!
Emo: I beg you, change the subject.
Emo: You are so wonderful. Very well, I shall soldier on. Now Emo, you are getting to be quite the frequent visitor to our shores, old chap.
Emo: Oh, yes. In fact, they’re getting to know me so well at Heathrow Immigration that this time I was able to completely bypass the six-month rabies quarantine…
In 2005, a joke penned by Emo some 20 years previously was declared by ship-of-fools.com, ‘the magazine of Christian unrest’, to be the world’s greatest religious joke of all time. In case you missed it – and we’re sure Emo wouldn’t mind us sharing it with you on our hallowed pages – here it is again:
Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said: ‘Don’t do it!’ He said: “Nobody loves me.” I said: ‘God loves you. Do you believe in God?’ He said: “Yes.” I said: ‘Are you a Christian or a Jew?’ He said: “A Christian.” I said: ‘Me too! Protestant or Catholic?’ He said: “Protestant.” I said: ‘Me too! What franchise?’ He said: “Baptist.” I said: ‘Me too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?’ He said: “Northern Baptist.” I said: ‘Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?’ He said: “Northern Conservative Baptist.” I said: ‘Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?’ He said: “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region.” I said: ‘Me too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879 or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?’ He said: “Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912.” I said: ‘Die, heretic!’
Now a resident of Los Angeles, Emo – via Comedy Club Cambodia’s very own Dan Riley – told The Advisor: “It’s beautifully situated for living (you can swim in the ocean in the morning and ski in the mountains in the afternoon, I’m told) but, because of its non-central location, it is not at all well-situated for a touring American comedian. This Asian tour is the first time since I played Australia in ’95 that living on the west coast has come in handy (last year I played Jakarta, but the promoter sent me the long way, through Istanbul). I am on the road… well, I guess for you, approximately 75 metric weeks a year.”
After decades of stand-up comedy, what else is left? “I’ve been branching out into the classical music field. Last year I narrated Peter & The Wolf for the Glendale Philharmonic; this January, for the same orchestra, I will be narrating Carnival Of The Animals. Please know, though, that I have not at all changed the nature of my stand-up act; please don’t stay away from my show on the false assumption that it is now ‘good for you’.”
Emo’s appearance at Pontoon on December 10 marks his first time on Cambodian soil – and he has solemnly sworn to perform at least one of his jokes in Khmer (his shortest one, he insists). “Last year at this time I performed three nights in Jakarta and fell so much in love with Indonesia that I stayed an extra three weeks. I would love to spend three weeks in Cambodia as well, but sadly can only spend three days. All I know is that I have never written the number three so many times in a single paragraph in all my life and that, yes, this is actually sentence number three… which means, of course, that I should stop now.” And has he done much by way of preparing for his arrival in Phnom Penh? “To me, a country is like a movie: I try to learn as little about it beforehand as possible, in order to maximise the surprise. All I know is that, from all my friends who have visited, Cambodia has gotten the most glowing reviews.”
Emo will not be alone. Sharing the stage is British-born comedic comet Gina Yashere, who made her name state-side on NBC’s Last Comic Standing and in the guise of Madame Yashere, The Surly Psychic, on The Tonight Show with Jay Leno. ‘One of the best comics in the world,’ gushes The Guardian of this bombastic personality behind sell-out stand-up shows Skinny Bitch and Laughing To America (you may also have spotted her on Mock The Week). MCing for the evening will be Roddy Fraser, Scottish musician-cum-comedian now resident in Phnom Penh.
Says Dan Riley of the show, for which tickets are $10: “I’ve been an Emo Philiac (fan of Emo) for many years now. I even printed out some of his sublime one-liners and stuck them on the wall of my guesthouse in Kampot for guests to enjoy. I’ve never been more eager or excited to see an act than I am about Emo and I’m sure many have been impressed that we’ve managed to get him without having to charge an arm and a leg for tickets. That he’s supported by the amazing Gina Yashere is just incredible.”
WHO: Emo Philips (US) and Gina Yashere (UK)
WHAT: Comedy Club Cambodia
WHERE: Pontoon, #80 Street 172
WHEN: 8:30pm December 10
WHY: The word ‘Emo’ is about more than pale-faced, self-obsessed Goths