Can’t stand the rain?

50 weird & wonderful ways to while away the wet season*

Wet, wet, wet. Not the Scottish rock band from the ‘80s, but rather the soggy end of Cambodia’s monsoon cycle. That would be now, then. Here are 50 Very Interesting Things* you can do to survive the rainy season without getting too damp of body or spirit.

Laugh more:

You’ll laugh. You’ll cry. You’ll hurl. Not a reference to Wayne’s World, but homage to the explosion in home-grown comedic talent here over the past year or so. It started with acclaimed Irish stand-up Aidan Killian, who – via his Comedy Crash Course – schooled a bunch of expats in changing the world, one endorphin at a time. They then formed the Phnom Penh Punchliners, who now hold a comedy night every month at Equinox on Street 294. As of 8pm Friday June 4, another comedy open mic – this one called Verbal High – is launching at Meta House, #37 Sothearos Boulevard, with a suitably stellar line-up including Sam Thomas (US), Dan Riley (UK) and Roddy Fraser (UK), with Scotty Davis (UK) on MC duty. Oscar 51, on Street 51, also hosts a music and comedy open mic every Thursday at 8pm.

Cosy up with the work of Cambodia’s most creative monarch:

The descendant of god-kings, the late King Father Norodom Sihanouk lived the life of a playboy prince during the 1940s and ’50s. By the early ‘60s, this most creative of Cambodian monarchs was leading the capital’s elite in the art of partying hard. An accomplished filmmaker and composer, he was accompanied by an entire musical troupe on political tours and as soon as he’d delivered his speech, the dancing would begin. By the time of his death in 2012, the king father had directed 21 films, according to imdb.com, with countless additional credits for acting and producing. Shadow Over Angkor, which highlights the failure of a CIA-sponsored coup attempt in Cambodia and was released in 1968, is screening 4pm Sunday June 6 at Meta House, #37 Sothearos Boulevard. Catch more of the king father’s films at The Bophana Centre on Street 200.

Learn the language:

There WILL come a time when knowing how to say ‘No thank you, older brother; a tuk tuk is not required’ in Khmer simply doesn’t suffice. Man up and learn the language! The University’s Institute of Foreign Languages offers four ‘Khmer for foreigners’ courses (call 012 866826); Pteah Clare at #14 Street 282 (next to Wat Langka) provides Khmer lessons for beginners, and the Language Institute of Natural Khmer at Sovannaphumi School on Street 200 offers a free one-hour trial of their ‘innovative’ homework-free system, in which two native speakers chat exclusively in Khmer, using only body language and a white board by way of translation (call 012 293764).

Watch the rice grow:

Stay with a rural Khmer family at a ‘homestay’ among the lush, green paddies as they begin to sprout with the first rice crops of the season. The best way to experience Khmer culture at its most authentic is by taking part in village life, where you can mingle with Buddhist monks and learn about local traditions, and you’ll find welcoming homestays pretty much everywhere.

Dance dance dance:

Martha Graham called it “The hidden language of the soul” and with the sheer number of classes popping up across town there’s no longer any excuse not to do it. From apsara and salsa to ballet and bellydancing, just about every genre is on offer. Here’s our pick of the best dance schools and what they do:

• Feel Good, #79 Street 136; 079 888773: bachata, hip hop, bellydancing
• Doors, Street 84 & 47; 023 986114: bachata, salsa
• The Groove, Street 282: salsa
• You Khin House, #13a Street 830; 023 224843: bellydancing
• Selapak, #117 Street 110; 089 793239: apsara
• Dance World Cambodia, Hotel Cambodiana, Sisowath Quay; 012 634008: classical ballet, rhythmic gymnastics & modern dance
• Central School of Ballet Phnom Penh, #10 Street 183; info@nullcentralschoolofballet.com: classical ballet, contemporary dance, dance conditioning (semester starts August 4)

Live the champagne lifestyle on a beer & chips budget:

Exploit the finest happy hours in town to get maximum drink for your dollar. Most folks’ favourite is the Elephant Bar at Raffles, where happy ‘hour’ actually lasts for a total of five hours (from 4pm) and everything is slashed to half price. Showbox, on Street 330, periodically offers 30-minute ‘free beer’ bonanzas and The Exchange, on Street 84 & 47, was voted third best in our annual awards last year. There’s also the truly terrifying Drink All You Can special at Frost on Street 246: $10 for men, $20 for women, Monday to Saturday from 6pm to 11pm. Another generous giver is the FCC on Sisowath Quay and Street 178, which also slashes prices by 50% from 5pm to 7pm and then again just before midnight.

Put a spell on you:

Conquer your demons with hypnosis, be they smoking, drinking or… well, in this town… Who dare ask, really? The place to go to for your free, tantalisingly entitled ‘hypnosis screening’ is Phnom Penh Hypnosis, #8a Street 308 (call 085 606234).

Get pimped, preened and thoroughly pampered:

When it first starts to spit, grab a tuk tuk to one of the best spas in town and get a two-hour massage, keeping the window open so you can fall asleep listening to the rain. For the past two years, our readers have voted Bodia, above the U Care Pharmacy on the corner of Street 178 and Sothearos Boulevard, the best spa in the capital. Other favourites include U & Me on the corner of Street 306 & 51, and Angkor Spa, #16 Street 310.

Ponder out loud ‘But is it art?’:

Explore the city’s finest arts spaces: your favourites are Meta House on Sothearos Boulevard (voted Best Arts Space in our 2013 awards), and Java Arts Cafe & Gallery on Sihanouk Boulevard (voted Best Arts Space in our 2012 awards). We also love The Insider Gallery at Intercontinental Hotel on Mao Tse Tung Boulevard; Tepui @ Chinese House on Riverside & Street 84; Romeet on Street 278; Sa Sa Bassac on the corner of Sihanouk Boulevard & Sothearos, and Cambodian Living Arts Gallery, #128 Sothearos Boulevard.

Explore the kitchens of the world:

Sample the culinary delights of every corner of the planet without ever having to leave Phnom Penh. Cooking For Change invites you to explore the world’s kitchens, one nation at a time, with food prepared by ‘passionate amateur cooks’. The monthly event, at Meta House on Sothearos Boulevard, raises funds for Operation Asha, which provides TB treatment to Cambodians. This month (6:30pm July 26 & 27): Indian. Tickets are $20 and can be reserved via littlekitchenpp@nullhotmail.com.

Feed your head:

Attend a lecture and chow down on some brain food. Bophana Centre, #63 Street 200, is a regular host of thought-provoking speakers and on Wednesday July 9 at 6:30pm has invited Dr Ang Chulean – eminent archaeologist, ethnologist and author – to lecture on ‘various forms in the abstract representation of the divine in Cambodia’. “When used to conceive the divine under an anthropomorphic idol, a Khmer can be struck by the absence of any material representation among the ethnic peoples of the northeast of Cambodia,” says the doc. “Then, considering attentively some types of spirits among the Khmer themselves, one realises that they also participate to some kind of abstract representation, although in a lesser degree.”

Seize the spotlight:

When Andy Warhol declared in the programme for a 1968 exhibition of his work at the Moderna Museet in Sweden that “In the future, everyone will be world-famous for 15 minutes”, he wasn’t budgeting for the birth of The Internet. That said, there’s still no business like show business and standing on stage, addressing a crowded room, is an altogether more visceral experience than posting what you had for lunch on Facebook. Seize your 15 minutes of fame at one of the city’s finest open mics: Tuesdays 6pm at Showbox on Street 330 and 8pm at Sundance on Street 172; 9pm on the last Wednesday of every month at Equinox on Street 278; 8pm Thursdays at Oscar 51 on Street 51 and 8:30pm at Paddy Rice on Sisowath Quay; on Sundays at noon head to Sharky’s on Street 130.

See another side to Angkor Wat:

The temples are AWESOME in rainy season: think lush, green moats full of water… and far fewer fellow sightseers than usual.

Meditate:

Free your mind and the rest will follow. Wat Langka, on the corner of Street 51 and Sihanouk Boulevard, offers hour-long, instruction-free evening meditation classes several times a week. One of the oldest monasteries in Phnom Penh, the main temple comprises a towering Buddha statue and beautiful murals of the Buddha’s life in a large, airy hall. Somehow, street noise disappears, leaving only the quiet chirp of birds and the gentle goings on of the monks below. Keep your eyes peeled for the head monk, who has a great belly laugh and spurs you on just like a Jedi Master: “But try you must!” Need a little help to clear your mind? Try the guided meditation workshops at Essence of Health, #8a Street 112, and Feel Good Cafe, #79 Street 136.

Rekindle your childhood:

There can be no greater place to do this than Kids City on Sihanouk Boulevard, where go karts, climbing walls, an indoor skydive rig, ice rink and laser tag await. If you can’t wait for Adults Only night, just borrow a friend’s kid.

Remind yourself what a ‘real’ shopping mall looks like:

Cambodia’s biggest shopping centre, the new $205-million Japanese-owned Aeon Mall next to Sofitel on Sothearos Boulevard, is finally open. All 68,000 square metres of it. And bartering is banned. Good luck.

Gorge yourself on blockbusters and buckets of popcorn:

Sometimes, all you need is the latest international blockbuster on the big screen – and a grotesquely indulgent 5kg bucket of caramel popcorn at your side. We love you, Legend Cinema (third floor of City Mall on Monireth Boulevard, and also at Toul Kork Avenue, corner of Street 315 & 516).

Make sweet, sweet music:

To borrow from Plato, “Music is a moral law. It gives soul to the universe, wings to the mind, flight to the imagination, and charm and gaiety to life and to everything.” That being the case, we suggest you take a proactive approach and sign up for music lessons immediately. Music Arts School, at #14 Street 360, provides tuition in everything from classical Cambodian instruments such as the chapei and tro to singing and electric guitar. Simphony, #243 Street 51, adds mandolin, saxophone and ukulele to the mix. And there’s the recently opened, very well-equipped Links Music School at #52b Street 143, near Olympic Stadium. Would-be tinklers of the ivory should head to The Piano Shop & Academy, #13 Street 178 (call 0976 220340).

Stock up on secondhand books – and read them:

Our favourite used bookstores are veritable Aladdin’s caves of literature, all of it available for a fraction of its retail price. Go digging for literary gold at D’s Books, #79 Street 240; Boston Books, #8 Street 240, and Bohr’s Books, #5 Sothearos Boulevard and also on Street 172 & 5.

Watch art-house films in tiny independent cinemas:

Because small is beautiful too. We love The Flicks 1 & 2 on Street 95 and Street 136 respectively; Empire, on Street 130; Meta House at #37 Sothearos Boulevard, and the Bophana Centre on Street 200.

See the blood sport of Khmer kickboxing up close:

At the old RCAF stadium on the corner of Monivong Boulevard and Street 273, action and high-energy fans combine to create an unparalleled stage for witnessing the Kun Khmer blood sport. When the country’s best fighters are slugging it out, the thundering, white-noise roars of the crowd are intoxicating and a palpable rush of mob frenzy courses through the aisles (3pm Thursdays, 4pm every Friday, 2pm every Saturday and Sunday). Take a peek out back early and you might catch a star in training.

Learn how to cook,
Khmer style:

Instructed in the art of Khmer cooking by his grandmother, with many of her recipes included in the course at Feel Good on Street 136, Nara Thuon – one of the cafe’s kitchen school co-owners – left his native Battambang in 2010 and journeyed to Phnom Penh, where he has plied his cooking skills ever since. The school occupies its own purpose-built kitchen: bright, air-conditioned and operating-room clean, it’s an ideal location to get to grips with the flavours, styles, tastes and smells of Cambodian cuisine. Each ‘pupil’ is allocated their own workstation, which features a gas hob and equipment, while there is plenty of additional space to accommodate the manoeuvres of the most flamboyant chef. For alternative takes on Khmer cooking techniques, try the courses at Frizz Restaurant, Street 240 & 19; La Table Khmer on Street 178, and You Khin House, #13a Street 830.

Play ping pong:

London Mayor Boris Johnson caused a storm at the Beijing Olympics when he boisterously declared ping pong had been invented on the dining tables of England in the 19th century and was, in fact, called “whiff-whaff” (it wasn’t), but somehow that only adds to the delight one can take in swiping a tiny racket at an even tinier ball and watching it ricochet noisily off the rafters. The smaller local sports halls are starting to offer tables, bats and balls for a few thousand riel an hour. At the upper end of the scale, try the Phnom Penh Sport Club, Street 271 & 464 (call 023 215561).

Spot your favourite ting mong:

“Ting mong are scarecrow-like figures rural Cambodians erect each monsoon to ward off ‘evil spirits’, in the form of cold, flu and disease, that typically accompany the wet season,” writes our very own Wayne McCallum. “With origins in traditional animist beliefs, they’re a reminder that the religion of the Kingdom is a weird and wonderful mix of different concepts and ideas. Driving along Route 48 during rainy season, between Sre Ambel and Koh Kong, glance out the window and pick your favourite ting mong along the way. Out in the countryside, look at the front gates of the houses you pass – evil spirits are polite things, apparently, and like to enter the proper way – and that’s where you’ll see them. The typical Route 48 model is usually little more than a stick figure clad in a ripped shirt and shorts or pants. Some families will paint a face on an old plastic lid to personalise their ting mong. The most alarming I’ve ever seen featured a Barbie’s head skewered onto the top of a piece of wood. The blonde matted hair, blue eyes, small smiling grin looked equal parts bizarre and concerning perched against the backdrop of buffalos and rice paddies. I don’t know about the evil spirits, but it sure put the bejuzesses up me!”

Make a silly sport look more manly (sort of):

Stand-up paddleboarding. Bonkers. And what better way to claw an otherwise bonkers mode of transport back into the gladiatorial realm of sporting endeavour than to try it out in the teeming rain on Kampot River, preferably in a combative challenge with paddles as jousting sticks? Contact supcambodia@nullgmail.com or call 093 980550.

*Read next week’s issue for the other 25. We ran out of space this week. Oops.

Gamble on the rain:

With the arrival of wet season comes a national oddity of which Battambang is the epicentre. In the city, on any given day, keep your eyes peeled for clusters of people standing on the rooftops of buildings overlooking the central bus station with walkie-talkies in hand. Rain gambling is a popular pursuit in Cambodia and these seasonal sentries are communicating with their scattered rain-spotters, whose job it is to monitor the clouds, and their bookies at Psar Boeung Chhoeuk. Fortunes can be won and lost betting on how much rain will fall at a given place at a given time, so don’t miss your chance to witness the wet-weather gambling action.