Rockefeller Report

An executive at an unnamed big Cambodian casino was recently quoted in a local paper as saying his company’s plan to build a hotel on a Buddhist site was just a “dream and does not represent an actual event”. Rockefeller Without Borders applauds this casino for daring us all to dream. This inspirational message should be a lesson to anyone who has goals and desires. Dream big! Nothing is out of reach. Even seemingly impossible dreams – like actually winning money at a casino. Yes, sometimes dreams are just that: dreams. The kinds of thing we wake up from some mornings wishing it wasn’t a dream. Return me to that place where, if I may speak freely now, I, a naked version of Rockefeller, was running around appropriately uninhibited chasing butterflies on a deserted beach with virtually identical, low-calorie, chain smoking, vodka-loving, Slavic, multisyllabic-named supermodels. But since this was not an actual event, I can get out of bed, put on my clothes, have a cup of tea and concentrate on the things that might actually be real events.

Take, for example, an email I keep getting from someone with a really important-sounding title who says he has millions of dollars he wants to share with me from a bank account somewhere in the world he says is rightfully mine. This dream situation landed in my inbox because, let’s face it, I dream big and I should not be surprised the dreams that come to me will be really big too. Now that I’ve shared my information with this ‘Dream maker’, I can confidently await more thrilling news about when and where I can collect my dream dollars. OK, he has asked for a small deposit to help ensure the smooth delivery of the dream, but why shouldn’t he? If you want dreams to happen quickly, the hurdles have to be cleared with some assistance. A donation for making dreams come true. The last thing I want to do is upset the Dream maker with my petty squabbles, right?

Then there is the daily barrage of emails promising me a ‘doctor-approved pill’ that will significantly enlarge not only my (P-word alert!) favourite organ, but, I can safely assume, my self-esteem too. A large, proud manhood is at the core of, well, my manhood. We never want to feel inadequate about the size and strength of our manhood. I certainly don’t want to speak for all men, but I can personally say that I come in contact with my manhood many times a day. I give my Rockefeller manhood a good look – very often. Enlarge my Rockefeller manhood and enlarge my Rockefeller dreams. So much so that maybe, just maybe, me, the models, the beach and the butterflies will all come together in a rapturous reality rhapsody and not just some hopes-dashed fever dream where I wake up screaming ‘Slasavasatoyavich!’One thing’s for sure, whenever the stakes involve boosting bank balances and manning up manhood, the odds of destiny delivering on the dream are always going to be stacked in Rockefeller’s forever favour.